Fighting over coffee cup wording.
Scoring the bottle at the white elephant office X-mas party.
Black Friday bruises. Cyber Monday eyestrain. Credit card death spirals. Crushing consumer pressure. No pain no Christmas.
Brand new air-brushed 2018 Lexus waiting gift-wrapped in the driveway of a young, prosperous and hip couple with picture-perfect kids.
Plastic, rail-thin models dancing around in Santa hats for Target ad propaganda.
The 2017 gotta-have-at any-cost-or-my-kid-will-freak toy.
Guys spending way too much time consulting with Victoria’s Secret saleswomen on what to surprise their GFs and wives with.
Crying children sitting on mall Santas laps.
Wincing parents snapping pics of crying children sitting on mall Santas laps.
Mall Santas going to Spec’s after a long day.
December 24th 11th-hour shopping panic and hysteria.
The naughty and nice list we hang over each others heads instead of mistletoe.
The mistletoe we hang over each other’s heads that might spark a sexual harassment lawsuit.
A Christmas Story, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Grinch Who Stole Christmas, It’s A Wonderful Life, Home Alone, Christmas Carol, Frosty the Snowman, Miracle on 34th Street, Nightmare Before Christmas, Diehard, Elf, Bad Santa, Charlie Brown Christmas, cable-tv marathon.
Peanuts’ dance party moves.
The Island of Misfit Toys that we all belong in.
Clark Griswold’s 6-million watt power-grid crippling, cornea-blinding, heavenly choir of angels singing “Halleluia” home.
Ka-ching ka-ching an angel’s just got her wings.
Ka-ching ka-ching Land’s End just met it’s sales quota for 6 months.
El Nacimiento in the front picture window.
Getting the baby and the party in the Rosca de Reyes.
High-production value, mega-church passion plays with 100-member choirs and live on-stage animals.
Standing room only midnight mass.
A Christmas miracle.
José Feliciano wishing us all a Feliz Navidad. Over and over. And over. Again.
A solitary and humble man at a store entrance ringing a lonely bell and making eye contact on behalf the forgotten, the marginalized and the desperate.
Jesus is the reason for the season.
Turkey, tamales, ham, stuffing, cranberry, menudo, eggnog, atole, champurrado, Abuelita’s hot chocolate, tequila shots, Noche Buena, pecan pie and that one fruitcake made by your 85 year-old neighbor.
$9.99 Hallmark holiday cards with lo-tech devices that play Jingle Bells while glittering your fingers and hair.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Luv you lots. xoxoXOXOxo
Strip it all away and we are left with one thing.
Let’s not waste the opportunity.
I love you.